Look Who’s Listening!

The author with her (now adult) children Johann, Jacqueline and Janet, along with Mr. & Mrs. B.K. Birla, Kumarmangalam and Neerja Birla

Can children within the womb hear and feel?

You bet they can.

I have three personal examples to prove it.

I can trace in the character of my first child – a young man now of 33 years of age – a determination to work things out which had been my mental preoccupation when I was expecting him. My marriage was a mistake from the word Go. Within six months I was already thinking of separation if not divorce; problem is I was already expecting a child – what the doctors would term a honeymoon baby. It was not a planned conception and considering the deteriorating marital relationship, the confirmation of pregnancy brought anxiety.

I wanted to do the right thing, so I met several marriage counselors who felt it was too soon to give up; they insisted that many couples feel the same way during the first ‘adjustment’ year of marriage. They advised me to do all I could to make the situation work otherwise the consequences would be disastrous. One catholic priest even warned me, “If you leave your husband, your son is most likely to become a drug addict.” Those words made me abandon the idea of walking out.

Determination found its way into my soul. I had already connected with the new being within me from the time the child was a germinal disc with the three cell layers that began to change rapidly. I was working as a reporter for STARDUST magazine at that time, and my editor Shobha (now De, then Kilachand) had presented me with a book for pregnant women that she had used before the birth of her first two children. It was called ‘Everywoman’, I think it was by Derek Llewellyn Jones and it gave me day to day information of the growth of the child within me.

I knew exactly when around the 3rd month, my baby left the embryonic phase and became a fetus seven to eight centimeters long. I was excited a couple of weeks later to keep track of the maturation in terms of the interconnectedness between the nervous system, sense organs and body movements. And I knew that I knew that I knew even without ‘Everywoman’ informing me that my baby could hear my voice from the 18th week and that it had begun to play with the umbilical cord, drink amniotic fluid, turn around at will and try to suck its minute fingers.

So even when my husband and I quarreled, I made sure we kept our voices under control, and I was careful about what I said, even with counselors. I always sensed that somebody within me was listening avidly. Maybe I imagined it but during the many hours I would spend in the Basilica near my house, praying for God to help me to learn to love my husband again – and vice versa – someone within me did a little space jig.

Years later, I may have changed my mind, given up on my mental preoccupation to work things out and even given up on the marriage, but in my son’s character, the quality he’d acquired in the womb stuck fast and forever. Johann’s friends from early school are still his friends, and seeing his endurance and perseverance in all he endeavors, his employers often remark to me, “You must be proud to have a son like him.” I am.

However, let’s keep to chronology. In the months following the birth of our son, we worked to save the marriage, even decided to have another child. This was a planned one. Before the birth of our second child, I passed ten of the happiest months of my life. We had forgiven each other our trespasses, done up our house, put fresh flowers in the vases every day and generally led an idyllic life. I talked to the child a lot through the lazy months of pregnancy and I often heard her giggling and laughing at my silly jokes, though I would not be able to swear on this.

I continued to be a film journalist; in fact, by this time, I might say without false modesty that I was a rather popular film journalist befriended by many stars. In my pregnant condition, they were even nicer to me –some of the best scoops I got were during those months, and Zeenat Aman was only one of several stars who came all the way to my apartment to do the interview I needed with her for the magazine because she did not want me to tire myself out. Other stars were Sanjay Dutt, Tina Munim, Shabana Azmi, Rekha, etc. Actors like Dev Anand and Rajesh Khanna would have me picked up and dropped home; everyone took great care of me; and when I went to meet Sanjeev Kumar which was often, he would force me to drink a glass of milk during every visit. Life was hunky dory. I helped me husband with his new business, and kept the house spotless and shining. At the end of this time Jacqueline was born.

Jacqueline today always stands out like sunshine on a rainy day. She has a bright, gay disposition, finds much happiness in life, even though not always placed in the most fortunate surroundings. She laughs a lot, and people of both genders and all ages are drawn to her. She excels in artistic talent of many kinds, nothing comes amiss to her, and she draws remarkably well.

Before the birth of my next child, Janet, a daughter, the tide had turned once again. By now, I had begun to believe this marriage was never going to work out, and I went back to work, to the same organization I had left when Jackie was born. My publisher was thrilled to have me back and within a few months, he convinced me to start a new magazine. SAVVY was meant to start in October 1983, except that during the preparation phase I discovered I was with child once again. The release of the magazine was taken over to June 1984.

‘Everywoman’ continued to be my best friend and guide. I was also excited about the new magazine and spent a lot of time creating and re-creating its contents. I would discuss ideas with my little friend within me, and after these discussions, I would get clarity and direction.

Janet who has turned out to be everybody’s pet is the most creative of all the three children and this wonderful talent has found it’s way into her musical abilities (she plays the drums and the guitar), her writing (which is full of humor and sensitivity), and her filmmaking (she works for a media company). She is also a Savvy Woman to the core and if you want to know who that is, here is how the founder editor defines it for this was what I had in mind when I released it in June 1984: “A Savvy Woman is one who never lets life get her down because she always looks to God to get her up.”

In our family, we all draw strength from God. And Janet.

The author with her (now adult) children Johann, Jacqueline and Janet, along with Mr. & Mrs. B.K. Birla, Kumarmangalam and Neerja, his sister Vidisha and mother Rajshree Birla